It seems that what I heard most is that the decision is all up to me, and no doubt about it. But it feels like helpless to counsel me more? I know that it's always easy to talk, until we really get into the matter and taste the sufferings. Yet, the grandfather clock is ticking, i have non by the way. I've told myself that I'll think wisely these two days. But it's really tough for me to get my mind focus on what I really want. I don't dare to take IT as my dream, because I'm afraid to accept and never had had a real dream job or dream before. "Is that really my dream?" I doubt on my own. The time now is pushing me to the edge, it feels like it will pull me over from the edge if I have my decision made. I don't hope that my decision is made due to the stress. But I can't stop the 'pushy-stress' now. I doubt much, because I'm a worry person, and also a plan-ahead person. Don't make me wrong that I'm sort of a 'sissy' person, and oh, I'm a gal wud. -,-
My mind turned to be so blank about it now. WTef (censored) can I really do now?! meditating? *ohhmmmm....* yoga? boxing? dancing? singing? lalala? phhhftttt....stop my triple N now, the nanny-nagging-nonstop-thing, last decision will be made tomorrow. and THAT's IT! *some sound effect behind*
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