no difference.

"it's a damn lonely night.
try to figure out this life.
wont i get a life and get started with it
i dont know who am i but i
i miss you."

-chele.
(rewrite from avril's 'im with you'.)


today it's just an ordinary day..
nothing special popped into me life. (except for it's dad's bday.but we didnt have the sign of celebrating it.=( )
dont have the festival mood neither.
parents went for wedding dinner.
planned to go mbo with bro and his friends,
but his friend couldn't make it...so.....im here, facing the screen.
hmmmm......
just continue with my gossip girl then.

Happy Moon Day~
Happy Birthday Daddie~
Happy Birthday Berry jie~


actually, i do hope that there's a lantern on me hand, and walk around somewhere with a bunch of frens.
say me childish.
but that's what im hoping for, crazying during any celebrating festival, to have the festival's mood on. =(

when...

i wonder why, sometimes a lil thing from . can make me so upset.
hmmmm.......sighh**
butsheneverknowit.





and, why is it so hard for me to concentrate/focus on me work everytime?!!
EF my mind! my brain! my heart!
when can i grow up?
pathetic. -,-

strictly lost.

this morning, after i got back my EMB paper.
i was really damn upset and disappointed on myself...
it's lesser than what i expected.
even Charlie said "terrible" when i got the paper from him.
i was totally upset when i scanned the marks on the paper.
i replied him with a smile, "yeah..."
why i'll smile huh? @@
don't wana let him think that im sad? but if i smile, seemed like i dont wanna heck care.
oh...whatever. me fault afterall.

actually, i ever wondered, am i really suitable for this route?
im walking on this route, is it all because of mom's suggestion or i dont know what 'destination' im going for?
so ended up im in the middle of my starting point.
and i wondered, what if i failed this sub.
then im wasting my parents' money.
i ever thought of giving up if i continue like this, as i don't wana waste my parent's money on my laziness!!!!
wth-michele!!!!
but if i ended up or 'block' my own 'destination' in the middle of my starting point, where should i go for then??
haiz...is this 'destination' going to be the right one for me?
i dont have 'faith' on it.
disappointments came again. TT



ergh....depressed-nya.
i wanna hug someone, dearie!?? ='((

desperado?

why

is

it

h a r d

for

m e

to

find

a

c o m p a n i o n

to

watch

a

movie

together,

quietly?

and...

im falling into gossip girl.

x o x o

stick to one please.

among all the stuffs i have now,
my cell phone is one of the most important one to me,
as i need it to contact with u-know-who-ccn-is...

but now, i feel like throwing/smashing it on the floor.
lots of things are just so dumb-ass popped into my mind,
making myself lost in WHAT I AM/WHO i want.
@@
even a question for the inno. tutorial work is almost killing me now. ef.


dumb freakish chele.
can i just stick to one whatever and disappear for a moment?

i'm with you.

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you

in ♥ with this song.



having a stupid line here and nothing-to-do-nite.
sleeeep then.
taz~
@@

happy birthday to Tian Tian.=))

♥ is really complicating. but, complicating is ♥.

why need to suffer in this complicating ♥?

♥ is just really too complicated to be explained.

wo.yizhidouzai....

dearrie, wo bu shi zai an wei ni o~
zhi xiang shuo, wo hui yi zhi dou mo mo de zai ni shen bian..
pei ban zhe ni.
ji de, gao shu wo ni de shi leh..
shen me shi dou hao..
wo bu jie yi, zhi xiang zhi dao ni de zhuang kuang.
hai you, wo zhi dao wo man lo so de...haha
dan, dou shi yin wei guan xin ni mah...
xi wang ni bu jue de wo fan lo...>.<



rrXrYrYrr

niwoTA.

haihs~ wen qing chu le zhi hou,
de dao de da an,
man shi wang de.
yuan lai bu shi ta ren wei de.
shi ling you qi ren...
shi wo xiang tai duo le...
shi wo yi xiang qing yuan de...
jin tian yu jian le ta.
hen yi wai de, zai sha na yu ta shi mu xiang kan.
dan, hen leng mo de, dou 'tui suo' le.
qi shi dou mei shen me.
zhi shi zi ji de yi xiang qing yuan ba le.
gai zhen me ban?
bu zhi dao......
jiu zhe yang suan le ma?


i'dfeltdisappointedcountlessly...
till when can i get my 'sixth sense' or feelings right? ='(



damn.stomach damn ache!!!!
and i dono whether my EMB test will get 5/20% or not...='(((

heart.

#
一顆心
可以有好多感受
喜 怒 哀 樂 幸福　快樂　痛苦　難過

愛一個人 就有想要保護他的衝動
不愛一個人 連想都不會想到

當一件事情出現了
憂心的感覺就會接二連三 一直一直越想越糟 越想越痛苦
這也許就叫做
想太多

但想太多前 總是會有徵兆的
有人一直在追尋　戀愛　的感覺
有人一直在尋求　安穩　的感覺

會不會有時候看著自己的另一半 就好想好想告訴他 自己有多喜歡他
會不會有時候看著自己的另一半 就開心的好慶幸手牽手的是他
會不會有時候看著自己的另一半 卻什麼都不想講　心揪在一塊　難過
#

現在我的心　是煩躁　是擔心　是depressed 真是好 複雜 的一顆 心 呀～～


just saw this post from Hong Shih's blog.
totally agreee on how she felt.



There's a special someone in your heart, that you will try and do anything for him/her no matter what.
Sometimes you will be asking yourself, W H Y .
There's only an answer for it.
It is all because of 'Love'.


iheartyou.

igottafeelin'

dearrie, thanks for being with me.
let you saw me crycry again..aduh..paip me...==
ifeel n i c e whenyoucuddledoraroundwithme.
wonder if still have the chance not.
m i s s yousomuchbie.
good night and take care!
♥ muacks~

T.T

hate that...... !!

haiz...

emo.

mwa.

=) :) ;) =P XD XP =D x)
i <3 the time that we spent together yesterday..
it will always be staying in my mind, heart.
showed my 'weak point' in front of you. -.-
i cried, coz.....>.<
heheh.emo me.bopien...LOLs~
hmm..my firstie.hehehehehe (=^.^=)
laff-fubie~ mwamwa




T.T TT_TT =( ='(( >.<
i just cried...coz.....
ergh!! hate that i.........*^%^#??$#@ !!!!!
haihz.......

-BBIDMYAILYTTM.

fun.not.

this few days
when going to or back from school
i like to 'piao che' from 65-80km/hr (with xiao huang)
fast? don't know..think it's not for some people
of course..i'll depends on the condition of the road.!
feel sienz easily if the car in front is slow or slows me down from 'piao-ing'
whatth am i rushing for!
i don't know


maybe is myself who do not have the patient.




.enoemosgnissimmemginkamsihehttahw.
erghhh....

the ohs.

ohimsad.

.

ohiminpain.

.

ohimdisappointed.

.

ohimmoody.

.

ohimunhappy.

.

ohtonight

.

.

i m s a d .

lemon tree.

#i wonder how, i wonder why........blue blue sky.........just another lemon tree~#


i cant remember
when was the last time i actually laugh out loud from the bottom of my heart
i wonder

where do i actually belong
i wonder

thinking hard
what's my next step going to be
i wonder

with the current phone and insufficient money now
when will i get my new Renoir, or maybe others
i wonder

less effort together with a stationary brain
will i pass my finals
i wonder

pray to God that i wanna be happy everyday
will i
i wonder

why do i often feel so alone and emo
i wonder

when will it be
i wonder


i w o n d e r
what am i thinking and going to do now.
i m l o s t

just like the fairy tale's scene, is there any angel around?

pinkiish

LEO

is

hawt.

wherzmaheart.

*she's on board now...might be nervous-ing bout tomorrow's life...*

i did what i had said..
i did hug her tightly...
i don't feel like letting off my hand..
the words cant speak out from my mouth...
as the moment i hugged her, the laughter from my face,
which we were crazying on camwhoring at mcDee's earlier on, had vanished...
tears started to drop...
i let off her, approached to jen them and don't wanna look back...

but, i did.
i saw her crying too. ><
and also her mom, ying and ying's mom.


i'll wait for your return to 'accomplish' on 'the thing' u had said just now.
remember o~~ heheh.
*im waiting. =)*


oya, thanks jen, angel and litwei for the 'consoles'. heheheh
i'll =) nah~ ^^


you left...
bringing my heart away.
i felt so alone...
love and miss you *deep deep*~

banana.

earlier on, in the middle of the lonely night..
suddenly thought of..
It's 19th Today!!
(none of my friend's bday la.lol)
in a blink of an eye,
the 1 month+ period is now left till 12 days to move on...
wow.
wondering what's next going to happen among us eh.
><

haiz~
only these words to drop for now..

banana-dearrr, i really 'she bu de' you!! T_T


like ah tu: "wo zhen de hen she bu de she bu de she bu de~ ><"

love always,

ah shi.

hurtmemore.

my heart had bleed-ed several times..

i wonder how much blood was left in it.

is there any 'plaster' for it??

.

.

p/s: DON'T ask me what happen please.thx.

im a weak human.

what should i do...
what am i thinking...
what am i going to do next...
what actually i want the most!!!
im l o s t .
my mind is blank except for the conversation we had just now...
im s o r r y that i cant give the answer u want...
coz im a coward....a cowars that don't know what she wants and faces it.
from ur message, i feel that it's the end of us...
im...
a f r a i d .



"EmotionsYou tend to laugh and joke around when you are with everyone, but you feel lonely and empty when are all alone. you cry alone when you have stress and problems. you often have many problems that are bugging you, but you never show them out on your face. you are not as cheerful as they thought, but you just don't wish to spoilt the mood of everyone, hence you hide your emotions inside. you are just a weak human with feelings afterall.."

just got this answer from the facebook quiz...totally me eh...

indeed...it's the end.

0004

coconut.

edited by CUTIE jen mui~ *thx much much =)*


Actually after 'that day', i already tried hard to accept it. Eventhough will feel a little upset whenever heard of it, but i can still manage to control my emotion. But then, hate that don't know why yesterday the emotion returned. =( Hopefully i can accept it like how i did earlier on. With huili's words, and nothing much i can do, i'll "let you go happily". Yeah, i cant be so selfish. Hopefully can make the memories of these 3 weeks to the fullest, for you and for us, eh? 3 weeks left huh..where to go? What to do? Lack of idea now, who/what to blame? Kuching. ==" haiz~ This little thingy also hard to accomplish. But for me, it'll be alrite with the boring places or boring activities, as long as we are there or what-so-ever together. I don't care.
18 months + 36 months which equivalent to 4.5 years is not like how i imagine it to be that short. You said that time flies. I agree, but also think that we can't blink an eye for a few times then we are at the age of 22/23 now. Think about it, it's not like, today i step into the classroom of Form 1, and tomorrow i am ready to tear off my SPM papers already. *wow* There WILL be lots of happenings that can change us in between eh..REALLY. And that's what im worry about...
Being a coward, i don't dare to accept it, and will think this and that.
But what i cant deny is, you're really really important to me (i think u noe), think that...maybe important like a family member or further than that. (this, maybe u dono) Hope that after 30th, our lives still having each other inside...
Wondering whether 30th can/going to say 'goodbye' to you at the airport not eh...
Hopefully someday we can meet or (best way) study together at the same state in Aussie! Do take care of yourself eh, especially your meals. Don't Skip!
*should stop naggin'*

oh wait...i don't care if this post is gelik/lessy...
i wanna say this from my heart.
thanks for stepping into my life and loving me.
I Love You. *deep deep*
*gonna miss u muchmuch*
hugs.

#there's only 0NE heart, TW0 gurls, THREE words F0UR you, MLP.#

love,

ccn3-bei-chele.

2114

i can't...

this noon,
dad 'pleased' me to apologise to her..
i cant. i cant speak 'that word' out from my mouth or face her.
i don't even know what's 'the-fault-point' to apologize..
then just want me to say 'sorry' to her..
sorry dad, i cant make it.
with tears, i tried to tell you that i cant just say 'sorry' like that to her.
but i think you cant catch my point...
nvm..
just let it be...
sooner or later, we will be alrite.

headache-ing.

*ineedaHug.*