Dear Pauline,I'm holding a deeep breath to tell you what's with us tonight. Our romance is over. =( When you put cuffs on me in your car just now, you actually sat on my salt-beef bucket which is the middle-class of all! Moreover, I may pee my pants without our matching snoopy underwear. Your glass eye had mocked you behind your back constantly. And honestly, your Cucumber-fetishism is weird, it goes to milk a cow. *sadness*
Love,
Michele.
.
ah-HAH! a-sincerely-but-so-not-true-piece-of-love-letter. LMAO.
...
1) What’s the color of your shirt?Blue - I’m in love with your catRed - Our affair is overWhite - I’m joining the ConventBlack -Our romance is overGreen- Our socks don’t matchGrey - You’re a leprechaunYellow - I’m selling myself for candyPink - Your nostrils are insultingBrown - The mafia wants youNo shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy youOther -I dislike your eyelashes
2) Which is your birth month?January - That night you picked your noseFebruary -When I quoted Forrest GumpMarch - When your dwarf bit meApril - When I tripped on peanut butterMay - When I threw up in your sock drawerJune - When you put cuffs on meJuly – When I saw the purple monkeyAugust - When you smacked my assSeptember - Last year when you peed your pantsOctober - When we skinny dipped in the bathtubNovember - When your dog humped my legDecember - When I finally changed my underwear
3) Which food do you prefer?Tacos - When we skinny dipped in the bathtubChicken- In your carPasta - Outside of your officeHamburgers - Under the busSalad – As you were eating Kraft DinnerLasagna - In your closetKebab - With Jean ChrétienFish - In a clown suitSandwiches - At the Elton John concertPizza - At the mental hospitalHot dog - Under a street lightAnnat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper
4) What’s the color of your socks?Yellow - IgnoreRed - Put whipped cream onBlack - Hit onBlue - Knock outPurple - Pour syrup onWhite - Carve your initials intoGrey - Pull the clothes offBrown - bit ofOrange - CastratePink - Pull the pants off ofBarefoot - Sit onOther - Drive over
5) What’s the color of your underwear?Black - My boyfriendWhite - My fatherGrey – The Catholic PriestBrown – The Montreal Canadian’s goaliePurple - My corned beef hashRed – My knee capsBlue - My salt-beef bucketYellow - My illegitimate child in GhanaOrange - My Blink 182 cdPink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collectionOther –The elephant in the corner
6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?One Tree Hill - SenileHeroes- FrostbittenLost - HighSimpsons- CowardlyThe news - ScarredAmerican Idol - MasochisticFamily Guy - OpenTop Model - Middle-classAnnat - shamed
7) Your mood right now?Happy - How awful you areSad - How boring you areBored - That I get turned on only by garbage menAngry - That your smell makes me vomitDepressed – That we’re relatedExcited - That I may pee my pantsNervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on youWorried - That your Ford sucksApathetic - That you need a sex-changeSilly - That I’m allergic to your earlobesCuddly - That Santa doesn’t existAshamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kidOther - That your driving sucks
8) What’s the color of your walls in your bedroom?White - Your toe ringYellow - Your love letters to meRed - The pictures from VegasBlack - Your pet rockBlue - The couch cushionsGreen - Your carOrange - Your false teethBrown - Your nose hair clippersGrey - Our matching snoopy underwearPurple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanketPink - The cut toenailsOther - Your Hannah Montana underwear
9) The first letter of your first name?A/B - My virginityC/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on itE/F - Your neighbors dogG/H - The oil tank from your carI/J - Your left earK/L - The results of that blood-sampleM/N - Your glass eyeO/P - My common senseQ/R - Your momS/T - Your collection of butterfliesU/V - Your criminal recordW/X – Your suicide noteY/Z - Your credit cards
10) The last letter in your last name?A/B - Love your sweet, sweet assC/D - Always will remember the pep talksE/F -Never will forget that nightG/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantlyK/L - Hate your cookingM/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poachingO/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruisesQ/R - Always wanted to break your legsS/T - Get sick when I think of your feetU/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heartW/X - Haven’t showered in a monthY/Z – am better off without you11) What do you prefer to drink?Wine- Our friendship is ruinedSoft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemonSoda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an EskimoMilk - The apartment building is on fireWater – I’m scratching my butt as you read thisCider– I have a passionate interest for miceJuice – You ruined my attempts at another world warMineral/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checkedHot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weirdWhiskey - I love Oprah WinfreyBeer – Thanks for the CocaineOther – you should stop picking your nose
12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?Thailand – Warm tingly sensationsAustralia - Best of luck on the sex changeFrance - Love alwaysSpain - With tears of sadnessChina – You make me sickGermany – Please don’t hurt meJapan - Go milk a cowGreece - Your everlasting enemyUSA - Greetings to your frog LeonardEgypt – Kiss my buttEngland - Go drown yourself*no Taiwan eh ><*
P/S: i got this thing while linkin' here and there. i found it fun, so post it up for a 'laugh'. =)
*hey dear Ah Tu, we are Not done harr..LMAO.*
-Ah Shi.