ds-se7enpointsix.

Well, behold, after a week, here's the link to my new life, new me, new blog. Still under construction, as I can't make the 'effect' I want yet, but readable though.

Actually nothing special still, but hope that I can post up some Good things on it.

*Toodolz~ ;)

Self-made poem?

0h yea, after I settled everything and get their butts sat, most probably I'll get a new account for blogspot and starts everything once again. Stay tuned, maybe. I'll update again. ;)

"I shall let this be the past, die with the current me;

I will be searching for the future me, live on like no past."

..............................-se7enpointsix.

I know it ain't that beauty, but I love it. lalala~

It's all on me.ME.me

It seems that what I heard most is that the decision is all up to me, and no doubt about it. But it feels like helpless to counsel me more? I know that it's always easy to talk, until we really get into the matter and taste the sufferings. Yet, the grandfather clock is ticking, i have non by the way. I've told myself that I'll think wisely these two days. But it's really tough for me to get my mind focus on what I really want. I don't dare to take IT as my dream, because I'm afraid to accept and never had had a real dream job or dream before. "Is that really my dream?" I doubt on my own. The time now is pushing me to the edge, it feels like it will pull me over from the edge if I have my decision made. I don't hope that my decision is made due to the stress. But I can't stop the 'pushy-stress' now. I doubt much, because I'm a worry person, and also a plan-ahead person. Don't make me wrong that I'm sort of a 'sissy' person, and oh, I'm a gal wud. -,-

My mind turned to be so blank about it now. WTef (censored) can I really do now?! meditating? *ohhmmmm....* yoga? boxing? dancing? singing? lalala? phhhftttt....stop my triple N now, the nanny-nagging-nonstop-thing, last decision will be made tomorrow. and THAT's IT! *some sound effect behind*

Stay.or Leave.

Last two days were really bringing me much stress and anger. Not to forget mentioning about these 2 days too. Talk about last two days, i went to Swinburne because I waited for my invoice summary and timetable at home through webmail. After two days, I have yet to receive it, and went to uni and looked for them. Back home, in the afternoon, the noobish Swinburne admin named G, sent me a mail, regarding that she didn't receive my enrolment form! WTF??!! I'm so pissed and called dad, almost cry on the phone. But I did in the end, when I'm alone. Too pissed you know? And really worried me much. I did enrol hor! Ying helped me for that, my mom was so pissed to and we plan to get those 'proof' and looked for her on the next day! WARRR!!!

Then today, arrived the office, they were not working on the Saturdays! wtf again? Luckily we met a nice lady there, she helped me and checked. Indeed, I did enrol!! I DID okay?!! zzz Can sue the G-lady...@@ *complain u gao gao ar. But! Another nightmare stroke me. I can't end my design foundation in just ONE semester as told. Due to design-is-not-that-popular-like-engineering-and-business-in-Swinburne, they opened only a class for one of the subjects. 2 subjects of mine clashed!!! CLASHEDDDD!!!! This one-little English word made me suffer!!! As I need TWO semesters now to complete my only-FOUR-subjects-of-design-foundation. WTF!! Waste this year of 2010 for this 4 subjects?? 3 days of schooling only every week? NOOB wei!!! I'm not into this kind of play.

Urghhh...and now I'm considering going to Limkokwing. As all know, it's more on design stuff, and it's wayyyyyy cheaper lo...my bro just enrolled for his Interior Design course too. Quite cool if we are going to the same school.haha But, Kuching's LKW is wayyyyy lack of Uni-life-feel *sighhh*, *and it looks like some 'ulu ulu' place punya hospital or what what what association's place to gather for meeting,can get the picture?* and the parking slots are really limited lo!!! RM2 per day...waleh..nvm hor..as 'lui-bin' Swinburne have to pay too, soon. I scare pay liao bo slot gok...@@

haihsss...I'm gonna start my study on Tuesday already for Swinburne. Going to LKW again on Monday for momre details. hmm...

Tell me what can I do? God, PLEASE tell me tonight in my dream yea~

*but, how leh? hmmm~*

*Please Bless me. Amen.*

My muscles are alived.

"...i don't care....." The kpop, chinese, english, any genre of songs were blasting my ears through the headset. The long bangs of mine covered one third of my sight. I was just looking down on the track the whole journey, lotsa leaves and some dirt and water left behind after the rain. I kept on controlling both my legs' muscles to keep me walkin' and walkin' and walkin' and walkin' quickly along the 4.8km of track, non-stop; the things too, were runnin' and runnin' and runnin' and runnin' in my mind. I can't bare to stop myself from thinking, and I just wanna keep walkin' and passed those track-blocker-peeps. I started to feel a lil of pain on my tummy or smth in my body. "oh great, i'm torturing myself." When I'm done with the whole 'journey' and stopped and rest while waiting my parents, a sudden feel of 'hin-ness' appear in me. That's the moment I really felt totally tired. But i'm fine now... I felt great for it, for i can walk that long.

My blog is alive today. hurray for ya~ :)

虾？last post liao ar？ 哦~~~

吾心淡了~ ♥ 吾（占时）不想在把吾的情绪和心事都写在这，面书，or maybe plurk too。觉得写了都是白写，废话多多，像个弱者（而我就是），也没人想理pun（也对pun~）。没意义厚~ 忍无可忍时，还有个秘密基地让吾痛快地写出来。哈~ 哈~

conclusion is，this is gonna be a dead blog，till i get a life. or maybe not. ^^

take care.tataz~ ♥♥

自言自语篇

嘿哟死去的部落格~ 你的主人最近都怪怪的厚。。。很烦很乱很显。好像很多心事酱~ 还想要灌醉自己叻。“你把我灌醉，你让我流泪~” 呵呵呵 (-,-) 也想消失。 主人好像他们大人的傀儡，也知道是一个人的‘傀儡’。大部分的事都受了他们的控制和影响。主人要怎样才能 get a life，找到一个属于自己的‘灵魂’啊~

烦

显

恨

-白书死的小孩

此地不能久留，西压么~

超讨厌没礼貌的人！！！

比我大几十岁都还不懂，反而来骂我。。==

但我也不是很有礼貌。

我不为它快乐

新的一年了
2009很快的就闪过了
在这年里 面临了很多的‘第一次’。
也留下了好多好多的回忆，同同一个人分享的回忆。
忘不了 忘~不~了~

而自己现在并不觉得很快乐 很兴奋 2010年的到来
反而觉得很‘反感’，
感觉好像对它有恐惧似的 从来都没对新年有这么大的恐惧。
祝了朋友们‘新年快乐’，而自己并不快乐。。
我不是真正的快乐~

哭了。感觉快要崩溃了。蔡琬璇 她到底 怎 么 了 ？！！

挖泪~

也许是在逃避-ing吧。。。

missyoudearr.

离开

很想离开这里
向二哥说了 想和他一起明年到新加坡去深造 和大哥三个人一起住！
他说：是咯？那swinburne怎么办？
我心虚的说：不念了咯，反正我也读不来了。。我跟你一起念interior design啦。。广告也不错。
他：读fashion design啦。。
我：design是天生的吗？ 我又不会design东西的。。
他：是咯?！design是天生的咯! 那还要有design course来做末？？
我：。。。 当然有connect到啦，向你酱会画画。
then，我向老豆说，我要去新加坡读书。。
*我也忘了他又什么反应*
老妈就说我：那么多钱啊？！！ *。。。。。。。。。*
到最后，我还是离开不了这个地方。。。



我到底怎么了？！！ 连自己都不知道自己在干什么。
狠乱！！ 狠lost！！！

可悲

让她说中了 我真的没办法接受和面对挑战
是自己弱 害怕 没信心 承受不了压力
所以只懂得逃避

虽然‘好听’的说自己18了 成长了
事实上自己还是个小孩 也发现自己真的很无知
什么都不知道 不知道

懒惰也是身边的人都知道的
真不明白为什么爸妈都那么勤奋 而会生出了这么懒惰的我
懒惰到恨自己

而人太好也容易让人骗 被伤害 被骂笨 好意不被珍惜
真是显 好人难当 想做坏人又违背不了自己
还有什么样的人可以选择啊？？

在情场上 失败
爱了 却得放手
有爱没爱 没两样

emo 能够‘发泄’内心的自己 为什么会有人讨厌呢？
当然 我的‘emo’ 只在于思想情绪上 而还没到割手腕之类的地步
因为我怕痛 == 也还有理智



Lost shitz.